Encouragement

The Bible talks to us many times about being encouraged. There are things in this world that always seem to bring us down or get into our feelings. Just remember when you feel like you’ve wasted time like you’re not good enough, or that you’re not in the right moment that God always encourages His people. That may come from other believers, the Bible, or from prayer. So pray, believe and seek God. Go to His throne and lay it all on Him, His Son Jesus died for this ability. And if you’re of those people who need to hear it from other people, I just told you. 😝

-T. Treal

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Car Thinking Again

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Am I the only one who thinks about the ending to his life’s movie? What would be the one scene that’ll summarize what my life stood for? What’s the most impactful, dramatic scene to say “this was good.”?

Let’s look at the most dramatic scene in the movie Titanic. Rose is holding onto Jack’s hand while she lays on a board saying, “I’ll never let go Jack.”. But I have a better idea on how it should have ended…

Rose falls into the freezing water and begins to drown, Jack jackknife dives off of the top of the ship into the bone-numbing water to rescue her. While in the water Jack goes for the last kiss, the one thing that makes it alright to have chased this chick the entire movie, and lifts her to the surface for her to take a deep breath of air while Jack takes his last. He sinks into the dark of the water, frozen, never to be seen or heard of again. BOOM! NOW THAT’S AN ENDING.

So what about my own life? Glad you asked, I think it’d be a lot like that movie “Fresh”. I can clearly see my life’s last scene being in a tall field of lemongrass laying on my wife’s lap. I look up at the sky and exhale my final peaceful breath to include a smile that demonstrates a complete circle of a life that never slowed down, mostly stressful. DROP THE MIC! FADE TO BLACK! CUT SCENE, ROLL CREDITS!!

Why am I talking about this? Because everyone deserves to have some kind of control over their imagination and life. Some people deserve to have some happiness and explore what could be. In today’s world, people are always placed in a negative space, a negative but productive space in life. So if they could have a chance to maybe start to shape the way they go out, maybe it’ll give them something to aim for. Maybe it’ll be a theme in their life in some way, like “I want to go out with a courageous bang.”

Of course, this is just my opinion and some random thought of the things I think about while I sit in my car as soon as I get home from work.

~T. Treal.

God Meditation Monday

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In church, this past Sunday my pastor said something interesting. He said people chase God incorrectly and they do it in the wrong ways. So this made me think and understand that it’s true, people do chase God for the wrong things and in the worst ways. Sometimes people seek God for His riches instead of the relationship. They seek Him on Sundays and when they need something but that’s it. The Bible warns us against lukewarm people and even goes on to say it’s better to just be either hot or cold. This is a concept that’s hard for people to understand but don’t worry I have the easiest explanation for you. You either believe and follow fully in your heart or you don’t. It’s that simple. It’s kind of like those people that say “I think I’m hungry.” You either are or you aren’t; you either eat or you don’t. It’s the exact same way when it comes to God and Jesus Christ. You can make up your mind to do that today. Right now.

Then when it comes to chasing after God or wanting to please him in a praising way, most people say “Oh I thank you God for this and that.” What about thanking Him for who He is? Most of us thank our parents, spouse, even best friend for being who they are, so why is it different for God? You don’t love someone because of what they could for you but rather the connection, the vibe, the relationship you share with them. If we change our focus, change our motives then we’ll find a real relationship that even atheists can’t argue against.

This is a quick post but one that I believe in my heart will help someone walk a better love life with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.

~T. Treal

Tuesday’s Talk With God

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I woke up this morning happy to know that I am God’s child. In a sense, it’s like forget that I’m living because of the relationship I have. I’m God’s son, that’s so amazing to me. If I die then I’m in heaven just chilling with Jehovah. So today it’s a new motivation to walk with a harder pride knowing I am secure in the holiness and love of my God. Praise Jesus for the salvation.

~T. Treal

Car Thinking

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We’ve all had days where we come home from work and sit meaninglessly in the car thinking about where we are in life. Some of us think about all types of things but it sometimes never has a flow that tells a complete story.

What do we think about? Is it normal? I’ve noticed with me it’s the whole narrative of if I love my job. Did you know that 87% of Americans aren’t happy with their jobs? I’m not one of those people because yes I actually do love my job. So why am I in the car thinking about whatever comes to mind?

Is it a thing of I just don’t want to go in the house? Hell No! I worked hard all day just to get back here and enjoy the fruits of what I’ve built my life to be. But yet I sit in this car and begin to grow anxious about this upcoming football season. Come on Florida State.

Then my mind tries to wrap around the group of kids playing in the street and I can’t help but to wonder if they’ll make it to a ripe old age. How come none of them climb trees anymore? I don’t hear continuous laughing. Oh nevermind, silly me, they’re not playing; they’re just walking home from the bus stop. Got it. I digress.

Then all of a sudden my mind takes a sharp turn toward a young woman I know named Trisha. Trisha is a coworker who tells me all the time that listening to silence is a fantasy of hers. She says the bliss, the seclusion and the way the mind can begin to value life off of it just sets her into a different realm.

Trisha is dying, quicker than normal people.

She has an undisclosed sickness that she’s asked me not to share in case someone figured out who I’m writing about. She also has 5 kids raining from 17 to two. The wallows of the kids, the deafening of her own mind’s screams and the heart-breaking news of senseless killings in the country all take a toll on her; so when she sits in her car she’s escaping reality into a fantasy that She can control.

Yet, she sits in her car and thinks about the lives of other people, more so than her own. This type of care is what more people need and so now I catch myself sitting in my car and thinking about Trisha. The thought of someone going through a life-changing event is humbling and quite frankly to know she sits around and thinks of my life is a blessing to me. So today I sat in my car and thought about the little things because they are what makes life worth wild. Thank you, Trisha, for teaching me without saying a word but just thinking of me.

~T. Treal

God’s Plan

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I would be some kind of bad son if I didn’t mention something dealing with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, so allow me to do that now.

One thing I am learning is that we tend to do things our way and then include God in them. We tend to make plans and then ask God to bless them and look over them as if He is supposed to say “yes human, just because you asked I will change my plans for you, for you.” Sounds good but not quite feasible.

Nowhere in the Bible has someone started to do something and then invited God. It’s not our plan but His for us that gives us the favor we need from Him, I mean even Jesus “did what He saw the Father do”, and that means a lot to the ever-growing Christian.

So there’s my peace on this small matter, I hope this helps someone down the line.

~T. Treal

Marriage in my eyes – We’re a Team.

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I’m going to try to make this a series. Hopefully, it helps someone.

Let’s talk about role playing. No, not your I’m sick and need a hot nurse or the weird you’re my mom roles but the lanes and levels we take in relationships.

Now I by no means claim to be the “experts” from Married at First Sight or anything but I have noticed a lot within my generation and those afterwards. Somewhere in the gutters of “I need to be independent” and “I can wear skinny jeans and think it’s cool” we lost the importance and respect of individual roles.

Now what roles am I talking about? The roles of I make the money, you don’t? The roles of calling or emailing me because you like my blog but yet the purpose is to tell me here!? No, none of those. I’m talking about understanding your spouse is suppose to be on a higher level and more rightful to get the hidden parts of you than everyone else in your past.

This is going to sting a bit but let’s be real and let the pain of our neglectful natures set in. The first thing I want to discuss is – we’re a team.

Are we really? When one begins to get mad at the other because of little things that never were, does that solidify a team?

“I was expecting you to not be sleeping 6am but I don’t know why, you’d never wake up that early.”

Or

“I don’t know why I wanted you to cook that dinner from scratch, you don’t know how to cook. I just got in my feelings about it.”

What the hell? Why are we allowing ourselves to expect something that’s not ordinary and then put each other down when we do?   What about all of the little things, or even big things, we do as the roles dictate that makes us who we are?  For example, I never tell my wife the food isn’t good or how to make it because she’s the cook in the house.  If she forgets to buy some juice, I’m not going to make her feel like she’s a worthless wife because the fact of the matter is, she cooks the meals, takes care of the kids, handles the finances (yes, I leave my wife to tell our money where to go, it saved me a lot of money so kick rocks).  However in the same respects, she shouldn’t put me down or get in her feelings for something simple when I work harder than ever, cut that bush of a yard, and always pay her the attention she needs just in case there is something wrong with her.

This is something marriages are missing, too busy wanting to give up and give in over small things.  Too busy wanting to go out and do something stupid over the little things.  Too busy to talk crap to your friends because you forgot who your spouse truly is.  Marriage is hard, yes we know but it’s the people who make it harder.  It’s also the people in the marriage that ends it prematurely or let’s it get so out of wack that it shouldn’t be a marriage at all.  Because we get into our feelings, how can we take a small issue and make it overshadow the bigger, more prominent issues that reminds us why we married this person.

Stop mistreating each other over the spilled milk and let that same love you first had rejuvenate the gloss that makes the floor shine.  Stop worrying about what wasn’t done and talk about it because just maybe everything that was done can be shifted to fix the issue instead of “deading” the issue.

When your spouse shuts down and starts thinking of those ex’s then what do you do? Or when they shut you out and you aren’t enough to break through those barriers, how are you going to deal with that?

The most important roles in a marriage is remembering the characteristics of the person you married. This is my wife/husband and she/he is great and does so much for me and this family that this small thing isn’t going to make me treat or see her/him differently.

Let’s get it together people.

~T. Treal

Romantically Helpless

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She told me she’s a hopeless romantic. I chuckled, matter of fact I laughed. It might have been very blatant and obnoxious but I couldn’t help it. I just didn’t see it. I mean come on, when someone says they’re a helpless romantic you think you’ll be swept off your feet in some way that you’ve found unimpressive before. Like breakfast in bed on a daily basis, a man cave dedicated to you from her denying herself more room for her clothes, and where the hell is my drink and half naked wife when I walk in the door? Yeah, you think small things like that when a man hears the words “hopeless romantic”.

Is that so much to ask for? Depends on who you ask.

But anyway here I was looking to be wowed by this person claiming to be me, in lack of better words. Do you think that’s where I went wrong? Comparing her to me? I like to make my woman smile. Nothing makes me melt like seeing her at her happiest moment in life and it’s all because of me. So should I not compare her to me?

Let’s look at this, like really…HELPLESS ROMANTIC! I’m sorry but I want to see the world given to me and the Miami Dolphins winning 8 Super Bowls back to back. That’s what I’m expecting when I hear those two words. Am I being selfish? No, I want to see her outdo me.

I am waiting to wake up some day and seeing more than one of my best friends cooking breakfast with a baby screaming at her because he wants her attention. I wanted someone to take my headache away miraculously rather than feeling just as bad as I did because I’m in pain, hell my mother wept for my pain why do I need that from someone else?

When anniversaries, valentines, birthdays, and whichever other special day where you should spend an arm and a leg for gifts come up, I expect to see a huge portrait of myself, hand painted by her. I don’t expect the same woman to cook another breakfast and just want to lay up with me on the couch and just focus on us. Isn’t that boring?

Isn’t it?

It has to be boring, coming home from work and being greeted at the door by a kiss and a baby who has been waiting on you. Boring? Plain? What about when you have to go on trips and you see half of your bag is packed and YOU DIDN’T DO IT?

Now I pride myself on being a mindful man so I had to realize why I was looking for this “helpless romantic” but being fine when I failed to find her. I compared her to me so why shouldn’t I want more? The answer was simple…

She was already more. I was busy looking for the almost impossible on a consistent basis that she snuck into the helpless romantic just by being a wife.

I would have loved the man-cave and less room for her clothes but I can’t beat the breakfast being made with the wailing baby craving attention. I can’t see anything being better than walking through the door and being greeted with a kiss. And I don’t care what anyone says, having just a bit of your things packed or someone cleaning your ears is UNBEATABLE! It just can’t happen.

She has always been the “helpless romantic”, maybe it’s me that needs to catch up. The wife who makes her husband better is something you can’t just find in anyone. That’s why I look to her as a means of pride and motivation. Instead of comparing her to me (because she’s clearly beat me), I look to outdo all of the other husbands we know. She’s been a helpless romantic from the day we said “I do”, so now I need to give her bragging rights for having one of the worlds best husbands. Hopefully I can get there because her selfless, simple, understanding-me heart is….romantic.

~T. Treal

A father’s thought

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When I was younger I used to visit my father for summer vacations (or mom’s break time as they seemed). No matter how the summers went, no matter how much of my life my father missed there was one constant. And that constant didn’t hit me until I was boarding a plane to go to a training class for the military and en route I was going to stop by to see my own kids. That constant always took place when me and my brothers would leave my father at the airport to go home. I would be sitting on the plane and looking at the airport where there was a window where people could see their loved ones off. With no fail, I would see my father standing in the window to watch our plane until it took off.  Now let me clear something up, me and my father didn’t have the best relationship and most of my life I felt as if he didn’t care. But as I boarded this plane and thought about it I began to wonder…

What were you thinking pop?

When you’d watch us board the plane and fly off, what were you thinking? Was he happy to see us go? Did he feel like maybe he could’ve done more? Was he sad that we were leaving? I mean after all we were his kids. 

Now time for the trippy part…

I’m not with the mother of my first two kids, much like my father wasn’t with my mother when I was born. I knew who he was, my kids KNOW me, I’m in their lives but there isn’t one day that goes by that I don’t wonder if there was something better I could do. Was there anymore I could do? Would they understand why their parents didn’t end up together? Do they think I’m a dirtbag for not living with them? I know that I’m doing the very best I can with the situations presented before me concerning them. So now I wonder did my father think the same things?  I mean I could ask him, we are friends now, but he’s so secretive that he wouldn’t answer or he wouldn’t give me a straight forward one.  

I’m not here to air my family’s dirty laundry but now I wonder what was he thinking as he stood in that huge window watching us leave him during those summers. I know what I think every time there’s a moment of motivation in my career. I have a plan to make sure my kids know I haven’t left them just because me and their mother didn’t pan out. So I think about them often. I think about making sure I meet their live’s approvals. 

For a long time I didn’t have much good to say about my father, then again I didn’t know him or the situation. I was just a kid. But was I wrong? I felt like he didn’t make a motion to keep things clear with me like I do for my kids.

So as my current plane taxied down to the runway I looked at the city and thought, “I’m on my way kids. I’m going to make sure to complete this training for us but I’m on the way.”

But even still I wonder what my father was thinking in that window as he watched us leave. Believe it or not, knowing how hard fatherhood is now, that’s my most touching memory of my father.  It’s the only memory I have that I absolutely feel he cared, or at least I’m hoping.

Fathers don’t talk too much about fatherhood…so here is where I make my contribution.

Is Success Attainable?

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So many times throughout my life I’ve heard “I want to be successful.” Well, my question then is…what is “successful”?

Some people find success to be rich or wealthy, but they feel that they haven’t reached success because they aren’t rich yet. Some people define success as owning a business or achieving multiple titles on their jobs.

According to dictionary.com success is defined as:

  1. The favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors; the accomplishment of one’s goals.
  2. The attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like.
  3. A performance or achievement that is marked by success, as by the attainment of honors.

So then it leads me to believe, success is…well anything you call it. My personal opinion of MY success has already been reached. But, I’m not rich. I’m not the top official in the armed services. I don’t know yet if I’ve been the best father or husband. I failed at my goals of being a professional football player (due to height lol don’t get me wrong.). AND I’m in a very small amount of debt.

So how could I be successful?

Easy! Growing up, I had everything my mother could give me. I didn’t have a need in the world, I didn’t have a care either but there was nothing to want. It wasn’t because I was spoiled but because I just didn’t care enough to want much in life. When I was in kindergarten (It’s funny how we don’t pronounce that word the way it is spelled lol), when the teachers would ask all of us “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I gave the simplest answer that I felt in my heart. Oddly enough, it was that same simple answer that stayed with me throughout my whole life. I’ll get to what it was in a minute.

About the time I was 18 I felt that I’ve already lived life for all that it’s worth because of my endeavors. I’ve seen and done everything I thought man could do, in some sort or fashion. But yet there was a huge void in me that I didn’t realize. It wasn’t until later on in life that I got the most awakening call, that shaped who I was and who I became. It was the call of God to my life, the call to be a holy son to the most high. Am I a pastor? No. I’m just a Christian, a real one. And through the light shined down on me by my Father and the Son, Jesus I seen that my void was being filled. I seen I had more than I realized. I’ve done countless things, met countless people, helped so many in small ways…A poet, a motivational speaker, a non-profit organization starter. But yet, I was seeing that I wasn’t helping myself. Fast forward…

Through some crazy events in life I came across the most wonderful woman I have encountered. I came across someone who would ultimately shake up my life and make a lot of people mad. I came across the woman whom I married, my partner in everything. Not my style of woman but best suited for me. Through just living I was blessed to have 3 amazing kids. Are you kidding me? Me? Three kids? Yeah, that’s me. But do you want to know the best part?

I have God, a wife, 3 kids…ever since kindergarten I always wanted to be a husband, father and a great son to my mother (No my father wasn’t around).

I was a legend in Miami in more ways than one. I had it all but I didn’t have what I wanted…until now.

So in a nutshell, have your money, have your attractions, have your titles. I’ve got the only titles and wealth in my Father kingdom that I need and want. I don’t need anymore than that because no matter what happens in life, as long as I’ve got those very three things that I’ve wanted since I was 5 or 6, I’m successful.

…I just wish more people seen the small things in themselves.

Success Has Been Reached!   ~T. Treal